Okay, fine. I know I'm not going to get what I ask for this year for Christmas. Again. I'm used to that. You people and your standards of good and bad.
But I really don't need more material possessions. What I really want is a new life. I want an MTV life. "Money for nothing and your chicks for free," kinda life. I want to go to rehab and have people commend me for it. I want everyone to know I drive a hybrid car because I'm 'Mr. Environment', but fly my personal commercial size jet up the coast for lunch. I want to make a sex tape (with another person in the room) and have it stolen and put on the net. I want to have a feud with another celebrity that used to be my BFF. I want to step over orphan kids in this country so I can fly to Africa (in my own jet) to adopt someone else's kid named Oombuku. Then circumcise the sumabitch! I want to convert to a made-up religion. I want to wear bracelets of causes I couldn't care less about. I won't give a dime to the poor on our streets, but I'll fly to third world countries (in my own jet) with my celebrity friends, and of course a film crew, to show how poor and dirty other countries poor people can be. 'Please help'.
I'll dump one hot celebrity and get engaged with another. I'll fly ( in my own jet) to Europe to get married in a super-secret location with a who's who guest list. Security will be tight. Only who want will be there. I want my privacy. Then, I'll sell the wedding pictures to the highest paying tabloid.
Yep, I have all figured out. Except how I'm going to get famous.
"I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeVille."
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4 comments:
You will always be a winner in my book but I am still not doing the sex tape thing with you.
I can see it now. You and Sally Struthers sitting in your plush air conditioned trailer chowing down on a side of beef while little Oombuku bakes out in the African sun tying to sustain himself on the flies buzzing around his head. And why do you have to circumcise the poor kid? You can't stand for anyone to have more than you, can you?!
Well, I can't get you fame, but I'll try to line up some orphans for you to step over. It's a start.
Hey you are becoming the loser you say your are not when you let us readers down by not writing your insanity for us to ridicule.
LOL Funny. Have to say I quite agree with your position on adopting kids from the poor third country's and ignoring those in need in the US just for status sake.
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