Okay my pretties, I'm going to try to keep this simple and brief. This Friday (June 22) is the first sanctioned Day of Debauchery. I have laid out the basics of what this day consists of. But after talking to a few of you ass clowns (no offense), I think I need to set a few more rules in place. More guidelines than rules.
First off, we set this up over a month ago. We gave you the date. We told you to WRITE IT DOWN as to insure you don't forget it or set something else up for that day. But no, some of you say that you will be unable to participate. You people are dead to me.
Second, for you Debaucherists that are out of town, try to convert at least one other person to celebrate the day with. A day of debauchery by oneself is just kind of sad. Besides, who are you going to make snide remarks to about the poor schmucks (that's Jewish for...schmuck) who are working that day. You'll just look crazy instead of the visionary that you are.
Third, I can't say this enough times, you people need this. I'm doing it for fun. Everyday is a day of debauchery for me. Friday just means I have company.
Forth. Those who are unable to partake in the festivities, JESSE, you will be dealt with swiftly and severely. Okay, not really, but you will be in charge of damage control and writing apologies to those that we are more than likely to offend.
The last thing I ask of you is that you write a comment to tell how it went. Even if I was a part of your pod (I think that's what I'll call a group of debaucherists) I want to hear your interpretation of what went down. If you were unable to celebrate the day (fuckers) I want to hear what you would have done.
Now go forth and debaucherize my children. Call me and my pod will meet your pod for shots and a game of putt-putt.
I know I used it before as a sign off, but it really fits here:
LET THE ROYAL RUMPUS BEGIN!!!
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3 comments:
OK, I asked for the day off but literally every damn, mother fucker in this office is out that day on either vacation or business and I will be the only one here plus an intern. So debachery myself is a possibility, although it may scare the intern. But what may scare her more is a visit from my fellow debacherist's enjoying their day of festivities. So come grab a Redbull for energy and take a Montell break with me on Friday. I look forward to seeing you although it would have been more fun to join you.
yeah, i was mentioned by name! Say my name bitch!
Rudy and our pod have a great day in mind. lunch at Casa Bonita, all nude strip club, then Lakeside to ride the hammer till we puke. if your pod sucks, come hook up with ours.
"The whole world is there. It's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me."
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