" I'm high as a kite, I just might, stop to check you out..."

Yo.
Once again, sorry about the delays between posts. Day to day nonsense blah, blah, blah. But the main reason I haven't dazzled you with my superior intellect is, well... I'm not really pissed off at anything. Don't get me wrong, I still think the world is populated by mouth breathing knuckle draggers. It's just not as in my face as usual. Or maybe it still is, but I'm just not paying attention.

Or maybe, just maybe... I'm happy. And if not happy, at least distracted. You see, like many of you pillow humpers, this time of year makes me, how should I put it, anxious if you know what I mean. The ice melts, the trees start to leave, the flowers begin to bloom, and my pants start to get tight. No, I don't mean I'm gaining weight. I probably am, but that's not what I mean.

I drive down the street and can barely keep the car on the road. As long as she is of age, and doesn't have a penis, I'm checkin' her out. I keep stopping this blog to look out my office window. I walk around the mall with hips thrusting aimlessly. I would be embarrassed by this but one, I don't care what you people think, and two, every other guy is doing it too. All I can hope is that I can make it through the day without assault charges.

Dry humping a poodle isn't rape is it?

Kidding. Don't call PETA.

We are truly animals. This comes blindingly apparent in the springtime. I'm always checking out women, but come May, I can't control it. I'm not the guy honking my horn and whistling. Those guys are assholes. I'm just your garden variety perv. Not a pervert. There is a difference.

Where do you beautiful women hide/hibernate in the winter? They only one I see all winter is my beautiful wife. (wow, that was close) In spring and summer, you're everywhere. Winter, gone. Do you migrate like birds? And dammit, quit acting like your irritated when we ogle. We know damn well that heels and short shorts are uncomfortable. Why are you wearing them? And the girls that don't dress like street walkers, still put it out there. Lower cut blouses, skirts, strappy ass shoes. You're not fooling me, you dig the attention. Don't lie. Good for you. I would love the attention too. The only kind I get is from chubby chasers and old women you want to know where a good place to eat is.

I have to wrap this up. The sun is shining again. I have to get back to the booty parade happening out my window. I know this blog had no point, (do they ever?) but I just wanted to let you know what's consuming my time.

Till next time, guys try to control yourselves, and girls work that ass!!