"Amadeus Amadeus, oh oh oh Amadeus..."

My head hurts. Is it November 4th yet? These commercials and radio ads are driving me crazy. I'm also disappointed with the choices we have. On one side is a man that looks like a cross between Howdy Dowdy and Erkel. To the right, Doctor Evil. "I can be hip. Tucka tucka tucka uhhh." I would like to see him during a hold up, 'put your hands up!' 'I can't really. How about just my thumbs?'
Anyway.

Everybody should vote though. I did already, twice. And I have to admit that these two are better then what we have had in a long time. Hell, I think I might have voted for McCain eight years ago if he would have beat Dubya in the primaries. Probably not, but maybe. Whichever way you vote means nothing to me. The people that scare me though, are the ones who are hardcore supporters. Bumper sticker people. Some still have Gore stickers on their cars. Or the people that have twenty signs on their front lawn. I don't like any politician enough to stand on a street corner holding a sign and waving at traffic hoping they will honk to validate my insanity. To be honest, I haven't felt that passion since Gary Coleman ran for Governor of Cali. "Whatcha you talkin' 'bout Terminator?" But it's probably best he didn't win. Fucking midgets would be walking around like they own the place. He would have eliminated the top shelves at all grocery stores. Basketball would be abolished. And don't even think about midget tossing.

What I'm really disappointed about is the fact that the Debaucherist Party never got off the ground. I would have made a helluva president. I can fuck up the simplest of speeches. I can get hummers from fat chicks, then lie about it. I can throw up on Asian leaders. I can sit around until the Soviet Union crumbles upon itself, then take credit for it. I can't grow peanuts though.

I just think we could have walked away with this election. The American people are willing to grasp on to any candidate willing to blow smoke up their collective asses. Lipstick on pigs, 'I have a dream' imitators, plumbers that are not plumbers (or not even named Joe?), hippie radicals, etc etc etc. Who gives a fuck who would be the better leader. I just want to bang on my drum all day. And yes, by my drum I mean my penis.
Anyway.

Let me know what campaign promise you would want me to fulfill. And don't bother asking for sexual favors, you know I will do those for you if I'm elected or not.

And remember, it's 'One Duck under God, for libations and Jelly beans for all...'

yeah I said it.