"It's a big enough umbrella, but it's always me who ends up getting wet..."

I would like to start off by saying I hate you all. Fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, and fuck you.

I write mindless drivel every time I sit here, and everybody is fine. But I put one ounce of thought into it, and you turn on me. I realize my last post was a little tame, a little PC, but not intentionally. It wasn't really deep or thought provoking, and not that funny. I just didn't have anything else to write about. Hell, I even started it out with the comment that I'm your monkey on a string, here to make you laugh. Your puppet to entertain and then get stuck back in the drawer. I knew this but was a little taken back when I realized how true that was.

"It doesn't sound like you."
"You're trying to not offend anyone."
"Too politically correct."

Shaaa? It was just junk that was in my head at the time. Hell, I didn't even last long with my experiment. Eskimo even turned the knife by saying that if I did get too offensive, I would only be offending ten people. Ouch. I know that is probably all the readers I have, but it sucks when someone else says it.

I mentioned to Popeye that I was thinking of making a contest of naming all the songs and artists that I use as blog titles and she got pissed and said 'just name Rhino the winner, he's the only one that will get it'. That's true but still.

So I guess now I have to be like a shock jock to get you guys off. Spout obscenities and be self-deprecating. Maybe slam my junk in the car door. Strictly potty jokes for you clowns.

Fine. We can take that route if you like. I will offend you all, as a group, and individually. But you need to be thick skinned, and remember how funny it was to laugh at the people before you, and take it like a man when it's your turn.

Buckle up bitches, I think I have dirt on all y'all.

If you don't comment in a timely manner, it tells me you want my wrath. So get to it and kiss my butt to get taken off the personal list. If not, get your tissue ready!