"Wrap the turkey up in aluminum foil, my brother likes to masterbate with baby oil..."

It's time again for another mindless misadventure of...

CAPTAIN MEDIOCRE &
INDIFFERENCE BOY!!!

We join our fake crusaders in the Lackluster Lair, where they are busy preparing an incredibly average Thanksgiving meal.

"Okay I.B., I think we are almost done here. Is all our friends coming this evening?" asked our portly hero.
"Well, a few aren't going to make it, " said Indif. Boy.
"Really? How about Baron Bandwagon?"
"You know him, he only comes if everybody else does."
"Yeah. Well, how about Lieutenant Leftover?"
" He won't be here till Friday."
"I should have known that. Well then how about that guy we met at the unemployment office? What was his name...The Night Stalker?"
"About that, it seems we misunderstood him. It's night
stocker. He works nights at Walmart."
"So who is coming my vague little friend?"
"Phantom Feng Shui will be here."
"Really? Good. Nice fellow. I feel so calm when he's here, he gives the house such positive energy. I just don't like it when he rearranges the whole house."
"Right... Well Princess Pre-Op said she was coming."
"Great! She is hot. I might make a move on her tonight."
"Captain, I don't think she's the right kind of girl for
you, if you know what I mean?"
"Nonsense I.B., she is packed with sex appeal."
"That's not all she's packing."

Our hero's substandard conversation is thankfully interrupted by the timer on the oven.

"Ah, our glorious bird is done. Come help take it out of the oven I.B."
Lifting off the lid, "Oh my Lord, this Turkey had so much to live for!"
"That's his neck Captain."
"Oh, thank God. I thought we just cooked the Dirk Diggler of the turkey world."

Carrying the roasting pan to the table, Captain Mediocre trips over his cape and drops the turkey which slides across the floor down the steps.

"Son of a... Now what are we going to do?"
"I don't know. Doesn't matter to me."
"Well I.B., it looks like another holiday at Chubby's. To the So-So Mobile!"
"I'll get our bus passes."

Our story ends with our hero's leaving for Chubby's, a grease mark across the floor, and a turkey down stairs that won't be cleaned up till it starts to smell. Till next time, don't call them they probably won't call you.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!