Happy Rashahannakwanzmas!! Tis' the season to spend money we don't have on shit we don't need. I'm not against it or above it. Fuck it, bring it on. Crowded shopping malls, stressed out parents, bratty kids, ahh it's the holidays.
I know you are all wondering what to get me. Specially people in Missouri. Well, it's simple, I want it all!! No, not everything, just the expensive - hard to find - must have - gift of the season- crap. I'm talking about a high definition, turbo charged, packed with sugary goodness, extreme tickle me xbox kind of shit! If it's new and costly, I want it. I want you to go to every store in town and wait in line overnite. Fuck eBay, online shopping is for sissies. Fight with the masses. Go toe-to-toe with soccer moms with lists in one hand and smoking credit cards in the other. Wash down your Cinnabon with a grande double shot caramel crapaccino and don't think twice about knocking down old ladies. You're damn right I'm measuring your love for me by the price of the gift. If you're not spending a fortune, you must not love me. So shop early, shop often. I can hardly wait!
Oh yeah, to the funky monkey crew, Festivus is just around the corner. It's almost time for the airing of grievances, so get ready. And David, nobody eats until you pin me!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Jackie-you should be ashamed of yourself talking in such a manner. Does your husband and children know about this. Dan-you let people like this on your web-site, what does that say about you? Now get my damn Salty Nuts!
Dude, write something already. I look at this damn blog every day for some great enlightenment and you are lettimg me down.
Post a Comment