"This ain't no party, this ain't disco, this ain't no foolin' around."

My dear loyal minions, I'm sorry I neglected you for so long. I've been consumed with stupid and inept ventures associated with life in the big shitty. But I'm back and as cynical as ever. Yea!!
Throughout the day while I'm pretending to listen to what people are saying to me, I'm actually thinking about how much I hate people. Not all people, you guys know you're my favorite, I mean the rest of this idiotic world. I don't just mean the obvious moronic ones, I mean the folks who think that they're not the moronic ones. Real stupid people are cool. They make me feel superior. No, you know who I mean. You work beside them, maybe even for them. They are in the car in front of you on the way to work. They are always in front of you in the checkout line. They are the ones who think they need to say something in the elevator. They talk loudly on their cell phones. They talk often and at great length about every little 'pet project' they have going on. (by the way, I hate that term. If you use it around me, I swear I'll stab you with a fork.) They talk about actors or athletes as if they're personal friends or heroes.( I don't give a damn who they're bangin', just entertain me.) They use words in the wrong context or the wrong word all together. That's just assineign! (that one's just for you David) They wear Crocs for God sake!
I feel we should have the right to give them one warning. If they do not take that warning to heart, the next offense gets them a punch in the throat. Nothing to hard, just something to get their attention. I know what you're gonna say, 'but Dan, that sounds so mean'. You must be one of them. People who say violence doesn't solve anything must not have tried it or have been on the wrong side of the violence. Next time some jackass at work tells you some inane bullshit, smack them in the head. (you know right now you are thinking of the person you want to do this to.) Nothing too hard, just pop them in the forehead and walk away. I guarantee that's the last time they tell you about their weekend. Next time you're on the elevator and that weird guy from the third floor starts to talk to you, without a word, lift up his shirt and give him a pink belly. That smelly bastard will use the stairs from there on. When you're in the line at the store and someone asks to cut in front of you 'because they only have one thing', look at them cross eyed and yell gibberish at them. When the boss asks you to do his work for him, cluck like a chicken. What is he going to do, fire you?
It's up to you smart people to help put these ' no talent ass clowns' in their place. Maybe they'll get the hint. Probably not, but at least you'll feel better.
Also, if you like this blog, tell your friends about it. Plus make sure you leave me a comment. There is no counter so I don't know how many above mentioned clowns are reading this crap.

Peace, I'm outta here!!