" I Don't Want to Start any Blasphemous Rumours, But I Think That God has a Sick Sense of Humor..."

Oye, como va?

It has taken me the whole summer to muster up the energy to entertain you bastards. I type my little heart out, download pictures, verify movie quotes, and phrase and rephrase jokes. And for what? Nothing. I hit the publish button and sit back and wait for the comments. And wait. And wait. My wife will always comment, but only because she is my wife and gets sick of me crying. When I finally get tired of waiting, I call you up individually and ask if you read it.
"Oh, I haven't got to it yet." Or 'yeah, it was funny. So anyway, what are you guys doing this weekend?'
You guys suck. Eskimo recently started sending out emails to a few of us with info on supplements and vitamins. In true monkey form, he included large doses of comedy intertwined with facts. It took people forever to reply, and I was the only one to acknowledge his comedic efforts. Now you know how I feel fucker!
Anyway.

I (my wife made me) signed up on Facebook about a month or so ago. I'm not really about networking. I have all the friends I can handle right now, and I'm not taking any new applications at this time. Nor am I in a band like Rhino who uses the site correctly to announce up coming gigs. I'm also not interested in tracking down old high school classmates mainly for the reason that I still talk to the same three people I did back then. So my sole purpose for logging on everyday is to talk shit and make snide comments on other people's posts. Believe it or not, I try not to be rude, just funny. But I usually just get ignored. Wait, I'm sensing a theme here.
The reason I bring this up is, I'm thinking of starting a D.O.D. facebook page. Just cause. It will probably have the same eight people that read this minus Elvis, Eskimo, and Ru who aren't on it yet. Damn. Maybe I won't bother. We'll see.
Anyway.

The summer is almost over, which means the fall Day Of Debauchery is upon us. We will be celebrating on September 18th. That's like next week already. Now, the D.O.D.'s this year have been a little strange. In March, we spent most of the day trying to get everybody together. It was fun, but the only significant detail is we got back in touch withe Reuben. The June one didn't really happen at all.

Now I know that you clowns are going to say you had a long summer and you could go for a mellow D.O.D.. Fuck you! I'm tired too dammit but we broke the rules and tried that last time. As always, we all could use a little madness to shake off this old age we're feeling. Even if what we do that day is on the mellow side, we at least need to attack it with force. We need to have a strong turnout. This summer, we all have had a lot of other things going on, picnics, bbq's, parties, and trips. We lost touch with fellow Debaucherists. But that happens. Believe it or not, some of us have lives. Not me, but some of you. So now we regroup and terrorize the locals. Get everybody back on the same f'd up page. Labor Day was last weekend and to most is the end of summer. But not for Debaucherists. We are true pagans. Our fall D.O.D. will be the last hurrah. As is tradition, we will start at my house at nine a.m. with a Tequila shot. Don't be little bitches, it's only one shot then we head out for breakfast.

Some will say that they have to work but will catch up later. That rarely works. So use those damn sick days. Don't waste them on days your really sick.

I'm outta here, Hyundai 400, or something like that.